Fighting for my Children

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T23:46:00.000-08:00

First I would just like to say Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all my friends in bloggyville.
Our Christmas started off to a rocky start on Christmas eve day. We found out my mom was very sick and wasnt up to having us over that day or cooking turkey and having us over Christmas. It would be a quiet day with just me and my kids at home. At first I was sad but the boys took it really well. My dad brought the presents over Christmas eve day and I gave him theirs. I decided not to let this snag ruin our Christmas though. Christmas eve I let them open one present like I do every year. My oldest opened a video game and my youngest opened his bop it!

He got up to 48 last night. He loved it. Its great for co-ordination not to mention thinking on your feet. My oldest son liked his video game to of coarse. I prepared a breakfast casserole the night before and put it in the oven while we were opening the rest of our presents. I cant take all the credit, I got this idea from a friend. My youngest got a nerf gun for Christmas and so I bought them 100 foamy darts for them and needless to say there are more than half missing lol. They spend at least an hour running around the house playing nerf wars. They had a blast but my oldest got overstimulated and almost went into meltdown so I had to get both of them to calm down and do something relaxing for a while. They spent the rest of the day playing with their presents and we watched The good luck Charlie Christmas special together. Because I didnt expect to be home for Christmas we didnt have a turkey but we had restaurant style nachos which we all love. So although it was different it was still fun.

What do you know? Its columbus day in the US!

2011-10-10T11:52:00.001-07:00

Happy Columbus day to my US friends or happy kick our new neighbors off our land day, whichever u prefer.

Happy thanksgiving!

2011-10-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

I know most of my friends on here don't live in Canada but happy thanksgiving anyways :). I am thankful for my net friends who I can relate too. I don't feel alone anymore. I am thankful for good friends and family. I am thankful for a house to live in and food to eat. I am thankful for my kids who bring such joy to my lives. I am thankful just to be alive. I am looking forward to my big thanksgiving meal at my parents tomorrow. Happy thanksgiving everyone!

A furry friend has passed on.

2011-08-15T23:24:00.000-07:00

This morning I had to tell my kids their grandmas dog Peach passed away. My kids have spent alot of time at their grandparents over the years. I dreaded telling them as I found out last night but didn't want to upset them b4 bed. They reacted better than I thought they would. They were sad when I told them but no tears not even from the youngest one who is usually the emotional one. I guess that's good just surprising. The paternal grandparents are going to send us pics of peach. She was a beautiful dog friendly dog but was unwell for a while. I guess even the kids could see it coming. Im sad too :( I know she has joined Cherry, her mom who also lived there, in heaven though.

Delicious Dinner!

2011-06-11T20:53:00.000-07:00

My oldest went with his worker today and made us a delicious dinner. We had lightly breaded prawns with corn fritters. A yogurt drink and a chocolate covered brownie on a stick for desert. Its so nice to have dinner made for u once in a while, doesn't happen much when your a single mom again, and something we don't usually have. They went to their last therapeutic riding till September now its time to decide if they want to go back for the next session or do something else. My youngest has really been slacking off lately. I don't know if its bcuz its not challenging enough or he is just not too interested anymore. Also my youngest often doesn't want to go but when its time to ask do you want to go for next session he always says yes.

Temporary Homemaker/housekeeper

2011-05-24T22:39:00.000-07:00

I am lucky enough after years of asking for help to have a temporary homemaker for the last few months. There is only a few sessions left but I cant stand this lady anymore. Oh my freakin head! In the beginning I made the mistake of telling her my ex and me had split so she had to know why and keep asking questions I didn't want to answer. I would give her short answers and she didn't get it. She is so nosy. After several weeks I had to tell her I don't really want to talk about my separation all the time, its not really a pleasant topic. I told her twice before she dropped it. My separation is best for all concerned and soon to be officially divorced but I don't want to talk about it all the time.Then over time she started trying to tell me that my autistic kids should help more saying if they can watch TV and play their video games they can help to pick up. She keeps repeating this and also keeps saying it week after week. Its none of her business for one and she knows they are autistic. She comes in here today complaining about the mess which excuse me but its kind of her job to come in here and clean and mind her business. She asks me if I like living with this mess. I say no that's why I asked for help. She says why don't u clean it up? I walk out of the room. She starts mumbling under her breath that she is not coming back next week. Oh, and she also said I make a mess on purpose! What the heck??? I am sooooooo...sure I run around my house before she comes and mess it up. Omgosh I was so mad I went in the laundry room and called the kids disability worker and told him what she is like and that I don't want her back next week. I said she is causing me stress and my kids disability worker said she is supposed to be helping with the stress not causing it. What a b*tch! (Unfortunately you must be home when the homemaker is there.) Also she comes in for the last few weeks and says "tornado, tornado! Its a tornado in here!" It got old fast!

Big News

2011-05-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to tell you all until after I met him but one of the "fb friends" was someone another friend introduced me too that I am in a long distance relationship with. I've seen him twice now for a week and a half each time. He is a great guy. He is considerate, romantic, good sense of humor. Talks things out with me. He treats me great and I am so happy. It took me a while to update because this is mostly an autism blog.
We are having a good weekend and if the boys are good they can stay up late tonight. So far so good. I watched the shaggy dog with my oldest last night. This morning my boys worker took them to therapeutic riding. I go with them every other weekend so I do see how good they are doing too. I have found that therapeutic horseback riding has helped with muscle development balance and co-ordination plus helped with their self esteem. Since the boys were back about 2:30 I caught up on housework. Tomorrow we will go to my parents house for Sunday dinner. The boys love to spend time with their 19 year old uncle who is also on the spectrum. He has aspergers. My kids hate baths, especially my oldest. When I say its bath-time he usually yells at me "Are you crazy?" lol For those of you new to autism the reason they hate baths more than the average kids is that it is an uncomfortable sensory experience for them. Some people have even descibed thing like brushing teeth and washing hair as painful for people with sensory issues like my kids have. But at least they will have a bath, I just have to insist.

Tough days!

2011-05-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

I realized the other day that I was giving my oldest child, the one with the most behavior problems too many chances. He is getting really mouthy. I realize part of it is being almost 13 but not all of it. Being a fair person I informed my kids about how long they are going to get a time out for what and that I had been giving too many chances. 5 mins for mouthiness, being rude, name calling etc., 10 mins for swearing, yelling at me. 1/2 hour for violence. 5 min time outs in the morning for everything because lets face it if I stuck to the regular time out thing my oldest would never get out the door. If they have 5 time outs in the morning then they are off the computer till dinner. Anyways, my oldest is not liking this so of coarse was yelling and name calling and being rude yesterday morning and got himself kicked off the computer. After school he proceeded to beg me to give it back to him. You know how our kids can obssess about things. I told him drop it or u wont get it back and he slowed down considerably. He was able to get it back after dinner. this morning was better although he still had a hard time getting motivated to get dressed and get out the door he had miraculously lost a large part of his mouthiness. He still got 2 time outs in the morning but thats far better than 5. Thanks for listening, just had to vent :)

Happy Mothers day or HUGS for those who have a hard time with this day.

2011-05-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

Happy mothers day. My kids made me pancakes with mixed berries in them and whipped cream on top. Yum! Then we went to the fair. At the end of the fair I bought them cotton candy and candy apples. We always buy one cotton candy to share but the apples were a treat cuz the guy at the booth offered us an "end of the day deal" I hope you all had a good mothers day and for the trauma moms following my blog hugs. I hope u had a good mothers day too but I get that some of you arent at that point. Keep up the good work all the moms of special needs kids out there. You have a hard job.

Stole this from a bloggy friend.

2011-04-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

A. Age: 36

B. Bed size: Queen

C. Chore you hate: folding clothes

D. Dogs: Im a dog person at heart but I have a cat and a budgie, go figure.

E. Essential start to your day: computer and a hug from my boys when I go out the door.

F. Favorite color: Purple!

G. Gold or silver: either. I like shiny things.

H. Height: 5'10"

I. Instruments you play: nothing

J. Job title: SAHM

K. Kids: 2

L. Live: simply but Im happy.

M. Mom’s name: Susan

N. Nicknames: Angel.

O. Overnight hospital stays: childbirth and sleep study on a hard cot with my son.

P. Pet peeve: ignorant people who dont try to understand.

Q. Quote from a movie: My name is Iñigo Montoya you killed my father prepare to die.
R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: 2 brothers

T. Time you wake up: 7:00

U. Underwear: Yes

V. Vegetables you dislike: cooked peas, cooked carrots

W. What makes you run late: kids having tantrums or my absentmindness.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: mostly ankle ex-rays. I fractured one and a few years later I pulled muscles and ligaments in another. Can I be done now? lol

Y. Yummy food you make: chicken fajitas, mexican stroganoff, my lasangna is the best.

Z. Zoo – favorite animal: the wolves

Ring giveaway

2011-03-19T01:32:00.000-07:00

http://wronginalltherightways-travcat.blogspot.com/2011/03/give-it-away-now.html

These people are having a draw for her beautiful wedding ring. Only $5 for entry to bring their daughters home that they want to adopt and give them the medical care they need. If you can help please follow the above link to their page or spread the word by posting it on your blog.

The Teen Years...

2011-03-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

The teen years are almost upon us. My oldest is getting so mouthy. His favorite sayings are you're mean, you're crazy and I don't have to do what u say. He is so rebellious lately. Just when u think u have them mostly able to control their emotions (well except for when it comes to school work) then hormones rear their ugly head. My son will be 13 in September but he has the BO and the zits and the attitude so he may as well be a teen. They have also had a bad cough for almost a month and nothing the dr can do. I am trying some vitamins and trying to kick it out though. Are the teen years generally worse with kids with autism or just hard in general? I think the younger one, 12 years this year also got signs of puberty (worse BO then his brother, zits and blackheads) He is being more emotional too but he is a whiner and cryer. My oldest one is a yeller. How did things change in the teen years for your kids?

Spring Vacation

2011-03-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

I am going away to meet a couple of my fb friends. One of them has a child with autism too. I am so excited. The most exciting part is my kids will be at their grandparents so its a break and a vacation. I appreciate that I have been welcomed to join some great ladies on their retreat but I am not quite brave enough to meet all of you at once at the moment. Maybe next year?

Oh my head!

2011-01-11T22:08:00.000-08:00

Was it a full moon today??? Both of my kids didn't want to get out of bed today and took about 15 minutes to haul their butts out of bed at about 7:55. They are supposed to be out the door at between 8:20 -8:30. ha ha, that wasn't going to happen. Well, from there my oldest came out in his blanket and layed on the carpet and started in on his "I'm not going to school rant." Usually when he does this I am able to get things on track by getting him to eat first so in about 10 minutes after telling me I know what you are doing and thats a step to get ready for school (he's onto me). He finally decides to eat. Then guess what??? Back on the carpet in his blanket, blanket over his head. I tried to reward, I tried to discipline. If you don't get ready for school you are off your games for a day then a week. Nothing was budging the boy. Usually if a reward doesn't work, banning him off his games works. He does get mad but he usually get ready and goes right away. NOT TODAY! I finally asked what happened at school that you don't want to go. The deal with the school is that he stays after school for homework club everyday to get his work that he typically doesn't get done in class done. Well, yesterday(the first day back at school since he was sick last week) they kept him from having PE, his favorite subject, and half of lunch to do his work. Wth??? I am sending them a note tomorrow reminding them of the deal of him staying after school. Its not good to break his routine seeing he is autistic. Also 1/2 hour of PE is mandatory in school. He needs to exercise break. Also lunch is a break he needs and he is entitled too. Argh... Even adults get a break at work. I actually stayed calm the whole time he was carrying on, so proud of myself for not yelling :) He also tried to push his luck going to bed tonight but ended up going to bed without too much problem. He figured he should still get his bribe (Jello) even though he layed on the floor for at least half an hour after I said if you get dressed I will make Jello while u are at school. Maybe I forgot to say if you get dressed right away? He finally left for school about 9:30 and got to school about an hour late. He says he is not going to school tomorrow even though he had a better day today. My prayer for tomorrow, Dear God, Please let tomorrow morning be easier than today.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year! (and a bit of an update)

2010-12-18T23:24:00.000-08:00

Well, next year has got to be better than this year. I am having an easier time with the separation. I feel able to move on. I cant get a divorce till June 23 next year because of the waiting a year rule but I will for sure do that. Maybe I will have one of those divorce parties lol. Well, I'm not sure how I feel about Christmas this year. Mixed feelings I guess. This is the first year in 3 years I will not be with a partner. I guess I'm feeling lonely. I know I am not in love with my ex anymore, that faded with all the crap he put us through. We are going away this Christmas to the kids bio-dads parents who treat me like family so I am looking forward to that. It should be a nice vacation and a much needed one. I feel bad for my ex because he will be working for Christmas and most likely be alone but I can't do anything about that as I cant take responsibility for his happiness. I care about him as a person but at the same time I can't give him false hope. Well, tomorrow I am leaving for vacation. I just wanted to stop by and update and wish all of you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

I better blog before people think I fell off the earth!

2010-08-26T14:35:00.000-07:00

Everything has been pretty good around here. I feel mean but I am not having too hard of a time with this whole separation. At first it was hard when he lived here but we were separated for about a week and a half but when he left the stress went way down. Maybe it is because I knew it was coming and it was my choice to leave? Basically my (ex) husband is not good with my autistic kids and is not willing to learn. He thinks when I tell him why they do things it is just an excuse. My happy go lucky son Billy bob was turning into an angry frustrated guy because of the ex. That was the first thing that got me really thinking. There was no physical abuse but there were other issues that I don't feel comfortable sharing. We have separated 2 other times before the last time. The last time was just the last straw. We went to marriage counseling and parenting groups and nothing got better. I figure you cant kick a dead horse. I thought about it for at least a month or more before I broke it off. This is not a decision I took lightly so please don't tell me to keep trying or it will get better. I know it will get better without him not with him.
I don't know when the rest of the world starts school but it seems like all my bloggy friends from different places have their kids already is school. My kids don't go to school till September 7. When do your kids end the school year? My kids end at the end of June.

Moving...

2010-07-09T21:25:00.000-07:00

To the suite below us, smaller suite. Can't afford this one with lower income. Moving is a pain. Sorry, haven't found the words for more than a short update yet.

Changes

2010-06-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

Broken marriage and moving. Sorry for being gone so long. Will blog more about that when I am up to it. Thanks

Big plans this weekend!

2010-05-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

Today chiropractor for all of this. Tomorrow, behavior interventionist is taking the boys(and I'm coming along because its the first outing) for therapeutic horseback riding After their horseback riding the bi will drop me off and the boys will do something with their new bi. Saturday is my hubbies big 50!!!! I'm only 36 for the record lol. My hubby and I will go out for his free birthday lunch then big family dinner in the evening with his mom and my parents and bros and a couple friends. Then Sunday hopefully we will get to relax. I'll let you know how it goes!
What are you planning for the weekend?

Another day...

2010-05-13T15:57:00.000-07:00

Another fight! The door is starting to look pretty good lately.

Previous Post!

2010-05-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

Whoever may have read my previous deleted post, the moment has passed, all is well. Hope you all had a great mothers day or for those mothers that mothers day is difficult I hope you survived it and got spoiled by someone who loves you.

Come out Come out wherever you are!

2010-04-14T09:27:00.000-07:00

This is just a test. If you are lurking or even if you usually comment please leave me a comment even if it is just hi, I am just curious how many people have found me since I started this blog.

The boys have been sick home from school most of this week so far. Really bad colds, bit of a sore throat. Oh, we got some free tickets to the hockey game last weekend. We all loved it. I am not a big fan of hockey on TV but hockey is so much more exciting live. Where else can you scream and yell and cheer on your favorite team without being told to be quiet? lol Our team lost by 1 though. We also saw how to train your dragon in 3d. It was a really good movie. Who knew a dragon could be cute? lol

What are you doing at 1:50 am???

2010-04-05T01:55:00.000-07:00

Do NOT read if you have a weak stomach!
I am helping my son clean up his room and belongings that he just got sick all over. He can not wait till tommorrow to clean his books etc. Omgosh, I think I am going to be sick! My kids are 10 and 11 and I still don't cope well with barf.

Hoppy Easter Everyone!

2010-04-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

My mom in law has given us some money for easter. The kids got x amount. Billybob bought harry potter and the half blood prince for wii with that money and some money he had saved up. John-boy was at a birthday all day and didnt spend his yet. Me and hubby got $50 each. I spend a little bit on the kids, a bit on a dog ornament and now I still have $30 left. What would you do with $30 if you could only spend it on yourself? I am not very good at treating myself. I would like to spend some on wooden pony beads if I can only find a place to buy them. Everyone seems to sell the plastic beads. Any Ideas? What do you do to treat yourself?

Spring vacation!

2010-03-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

Its spring vacation and both boys are at their grandparents (biological dads parents). Yay! I am so lucky that they are still so good to me and my boys. My mom is in the hospital to have an operation to take some of the lump out to get a sample to do more tests on. The lump is so small they could barely get a sample and so it is probably benign but the Dr wont give a 100% sure answer till after the test. I had this in my drafts so Im going to add that the lump is benign, we got the test results. Still good news, cancer doesn't shrink!!! Unfortunately mom still has no appetite and is still sick so we are onto the what could it be now phase. New update, its "just" pancreatitis. Better than cancer.
On a good note: I went out for dinner with hubby friday, no babysitter needed! Chinese food buffet only $10/person. It is usually next to impossible to get a babysitter as those with kids with special needs already know but my mom was my babysitter.

Can I Pick Your Brain?

2010-03-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

John boy is giving the math teacher what for in his first morning class. He makes a fuss and yells and wont do his work and gets sent out of class with his SEA(I'm assuming). He has to make up the work at lunch or after school. I'm wondering if the delayed punishment is actually rewarding because he gets to leave class when he acts up. Its not an immediate consequence. The math teacher says He is trying to teach him to deal with his emotions. That they wont put up with that in high school even though that is still 2 1/2 years away. Also he does have autism so isn't it the schools job to find a way to deal with him??? He also has talked to John boy and he apologized and understands what he did wrong and doesn't like staying after school. I don't think that proves its working because he keeps doing it and I think he knows what is expected of him so he just talks the talk. The teacher think he doesn't do well in the morning which is probably true. I wonder if maybe he needs a free block in the morning next school year if possible. The teacher says he doesn't preform well when he is hungry. He doesn't eat a lot in the morning. He is not a breakfast guy. I am going to try to send him with something to munch on when he is going to school. I also try to send him early for the breakfast club but If you tantrums a lot in the morning it doesn't happen.

Therapeutic horseback riding and riding Show!

2010-03-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was busy but mostly a good busy. The boys had therapeutic horseback riding on saturday morning. Then the Behavior interventionist took them out while we went to a celebration of life for my hubbies good friend. Then the horseback riding show on sunday afternoon!!! There was 5 kids in their competing group. My kids have been riding less than a year. Billy bob won 2nd place ribbon. He was a little disapointed until he was told that the girl who won first place had been there at least 2 year. John boy won 3rd place. I am so proud of them both. They practiced so hard and tried their best and that is what counts! I put their ribbins and their score sheets up on the wall and took lots of pics of the horse show.
Sorry for all the negativity lately. I will try to be more positive.

This year just keeps getting better!!!

2010-03-02T14:34:00.000-08:00

My aunt has been fighting colon cancer, we don't know yet if she is going to beat it.
My other aunt had a minor heart attack.
Update on my mom. She went for a biopsy in her lump the last test and they didn't find anything. Good news right? Well, they are still trying to find out what's wrong so Now its biopsy #2 which is a bone marrow biopsy and another week of waiting. My mom tells me not to worry but how can I not worry?

We were expecting this one but its still upsetting...One of my hubbies best friends passed away from cancer yesterday. I didn't know his friend well but its hard watching hubby be upset. I am being supportive of hubby of coarse but I don't like to see him hurt if you know what I mean.

This year has to get better, right??? Please pray for our family.

Positive post!

2010-02-25T22:25:00.000-08:00

John Boy asked me yesterday if he could stay after school and play today. I didn't think anything of it till this morning when John boy was already late for school and rifling through his piggy bank. I said what are you doing, you are already late for school. He said I confess, I was going to go to the (corner) store and get you a (birthday) present after school today. I had to tell him then your going to have to get your money after school then go since most of his money is in small change. I was soooo....touched though. And they say autistic kids aren't loving???Pshaw! My birthday is on Friday but he gave me an early present of a mars bar, my favorite chocolate bar. There is nothing better especially when I am craving chocolate. Tomorrow John boy said he is giving me more presents. He is so full of empathy and I am so proud of him. This is the first time John boy has tried to surprise me.

Billy Bob has I-day tomorrow. On I-day you have to go if you have assignments that you didn't do that term. He doesn't have to go because he did all his assignments despite having difficulties with reading and writing. I am so... proud of him. Also last year Billy Bob was about 2 years behind in reading. Now he is only 1 year behind. He is at his grade level in everything else and he can understand things if you tell him verbally and he is writing a lot better. I still scribe his homework though, it makes it easier for both of us. Billy Bob has come so far and sometimes its good to look back and reflect on it.

Host family needed for Haitian Child

2010-02-16T21:07:00.001-08:00

Please see this link for the whole story. This child needs a family to temporarily care for them while they get medical attention.

http://watchingthewaters.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/host-family-needed-west-virginia/

Rough month!

2010-02-15T20:54:00.000-08:00

We have been going through a rough spot in our marriage lately. We are going to go for councilling,stepparent coarse for hubby and some parenting (for special needs) coarses. Parenting coarses mostly for hubby but Im sure I will learn something.
The Olympic torch came through our town so we got up early and watched someone run it through town. The kids loved it, I took a short video and some pics of us in front of a Canadian flag in a window.
Life was pretty good for about a week then...BOOM! Mom got the "flu" on Friday. In the hospital Saturday. They thought she had gall stones and infected pancreas. Well, they took a ct scan and now they said nope, that is not it but we don't know what it is. More tests are coming. They have some "ideas" but they are too scary to contemplate never mind put in writing. My mom is in so much pain she is in the hospital on morphine and she is a tough lady. She wouldn't take it unless she had to. I have never seen her so sick but still I visited her yesterday and today because I love my mom. We had a family prayer for her tonight. I am not particularly religious but I do believe in god. My oldest son laughed during prayer. We don't regularly pray in our house and I think as the other autie moms will probably agree, Our kids sometimes react inappropriately when they don't know how to react, right? Now me and my hubby are arguing because he thinks my son was just being disrespectful! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....I have tried explaining to him why he laughed but...Oh well, we will make up soon I am sure. Please if you believe in a god or a higher power pray for the Dr's to find out what is wrong and for my mom to get well soon. Thanks!

Christmas Break with a side of nagging!

2010-01-30T22:49:00.000-08:00

My monster in law was over. She is a neat freak and I am not! Nag, nag, nag. She was so bossy and drove me and hubby nuts. Also she does things for you and then makes you feel guilty after its like if you are going to do something for me, don't do it if it comes with a guilt trip. We spent 3 days cleaning the house before she arrived but it was not good enough for the lady that came out of the womb with a broom and a mop in her hand. Omgosh, she said she is not coming back again even though by our standards our house was immaculate when she was here Wish she could come for a good visit but nothing is good enough for her. She gave us money for Christmas though and I got a dirt devil and clothes so that was good. MIL and her kitchen assistant(me) also made a yummy Christmas dinner for us and my parents and 2 bros which I did appreciate and she also made a whole bunch of goodies and brought them down with her. YUM! So I guess it wasn't all bad.. We were going to have a get together for new years but I guess didn't give enough notice so went to my parents instead and monster in law was gone by then. We did talk though and didn't leave it on a bad note. She invited us for lunch after she left since she went to stay with another family friend and then we took her dog to the dog park where my boys chased the dogs and had an absolute blast. Who knew dog parks could be that much fun for kids. lol Then we went to the park then home.

Where did I go???

2010-01-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

Well, If you read my last blog you know that I was diagnosed with tendinitis. I was resting my wrist for a while then last week was the week from HELL! Maybe it was puberty starting, I don't know. (Billy bob is starting to get zits so...) Billy bob was just tantruming over everything. Everything I told him to do even the simplest task it was on the floor with no, I cant or no, I don't wanna do that. He usually only has those tantrums in the morning cuz he doesn't want to go to school. He also had a very rough week at school. It took a long time to get him on task,he was tantruming quite a bit and he didn't do work for half the day sometimes. This is not like him, usually he has a rough start then the rest of the day is alright. Of coarse friday was a pro-D day. I really dont like pro-d days. They just make a longer weekend and the boys fight because they around each other 24/7 and hubby gets stressed out with the boys. By Friday I was at the Dr's telling him about it and got his meds increased. That is what he needed the last time he started acting out like that. It must have kicked in pretty good because he didn't even have tantrums in the morning on mon-wed. Minor tantrums thurs and fri morning though. Oh, well, cant have a perfect week lol. Oh,btw I just wait out his tantrums and when he is done he is told ok, now go down to the storage room and get the can of mushroom soup, I dont let him off the hook just because he throws a big tantrum.
Also I have taken up crafts again which I am really loving. I am making medicine bags and I burned a wolf in the aboriginal(I hope that is the politically correct word lol) style onto a peice of leather which I think I will make into a dreamcatcher. I am not aboriginal but I have always been facinated with their arts and crafts and culture. My kids are finally old enough that they are not running away with my supplies and constantly bugging. Even if the kids are around I can sit on the couch with them and sew and It still feels like me time!

Tendinitis and lurking!

2010-01-02T18:26:00.000-08:00

I found out on Wednesday that I have Tendinitis so i will be mostly lurking till I can write my Christmas and new years blog with both hands on the keys again. I am wearing a partial wrist cast on my right wrist and guess which one is my writing hand? So hope you had a Merry Christmas /happy holidays and a happy new year to you. Well its back to lurking for me :(

MIA for a while

2009-12-21T12:40:00.000-08:00

Mom-in-love is over for a week or so? By the end of the week I may be calling her something else though. lol

To everyone: Have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Terrible Thursday???

2009-12-18T09:35:00.000-08:00

Was it Monday again yesterday? I woke up at 4:30 and every half hour after that because my mind wouldn't stop racing with thoughts of Christmas preparations. I gave up and got up half an hour early. I guess since Billy-bob had extra time he figured he would go in his brothers room and turn on the light to find games when his bro was sleeping. He pushed me several times because I removed him from John-boys room. Billy-bob then proceeded to scream and he stomp and he woke up the downstairs neighbors. The neighbors opened the door that leads from the laundry room door to our upper suite and yelled don't you realize it is before 7?(twice) I hope we don't get kicked out. I feel sorry for our neighbors but Billy-bob hates school and likes to make a ruckus when I tell him it is time to get ready. I have tried rewards for not screaming and consequences but it doesn't seem to help. Usually it is worse Monday. My son got banned off his game for a week. He must have been loud. The neighbor doesn't usually scream twice at us.

My mish-mash post!

2009-12-10T13:37:00.000-08:00

Everything seems to be going good with Billy bob. No long DT's lately and if he has too much homework we only do 1/2 hour and I write him a note. John-boy has strep throat though but he is very mellow right now and watching TV. We have all got the H1N1 flu shot now. I can't sleep on my left shoulder right now which is the one I usually sleep on but my shoulder only hurts if they is presure on it so its not too bad. Next Friday is the last day of school which means shortly after boredom sets in. Hubbies mom is coming down and cooking Christmas dinner for us. Mmmmm... I dont like to cook very much so I don't mind at all. I am trying to catch up on piles of laundy. I have been ~~lazy~~ busy lately. Well, off to do some baking now and I hope you all have a merry Christmas. Oh and by the way it is nice and sunny but cold here. Arent you all so...jealous lol.

Just in Case you Needed Something to Read!(lol)

2009-12-04T21:23:00.000-08:00

Both of my monkeys go to therapeutic riding on saturday at (gasp) 9 am we have to leave shortly after 8am to get their early. I have to get up at 6:30 (cry). Just kidding, its worth it. Horseback riding helps with balance and muscle-tone and self-esteem. I guess controlling and bonding with a large animal can make you feel good? I have never had the opportunity to ride horses so I am only guessing why it helps the self-esteem. Tomorrow evening we are going to a Christmas dinner at my parents church plus Christmas caroling etc. Free turkey and the fact that I have friends that attend my parents church make it fun for me. Oh, yeah and the fact that their wonderful uncle will run off with them after dinner is a definite bonus.
Unlike a lot of autistic children my kids deal pretty well with crowded situations and being out. They do get restless and want to run around after a short time and don't like it if it is REALLY noisy. I don't like to brag but I think it is largely due to the fact that I always took them out and didn't avoid those hard situations. Granted sometimes they would meltdown when they got home but they slowly got acclimatized and seemed to enjoy the fairs, parades etc while we were there . There was some meltdown out in public but you deal with it and go home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an ogre if my kids got overwhelmed I would leave the area. Also my kids were 6 almost 7(child #1) and 8(child #2) when they were diagnosed so I didn't know I wasn't "supposed" to take them out in those type of situations. lol
My children have sensory issues. Child #1 has all of them although they are not as apparent anymore and I don't know exactly how many child #2 has but I know he is sensitive to loud noises and touch.
Oh, yeah, now that I've got my own blogspot child #1 shall be called Billy bob and child #2 shall be called Johnboy. Not kidding they really need nicknames lol.

Trying not to BANG MY HEAD!

2009-12-02T18:58:00.000-08:00

Oh, looks like I am going to be on their case again. Here it comes, last week was the IEP meeting. Yesterday, they kept him after school for an hour doing math (home)work. Tonight, he was kept for 1/2 an hour after school for not finishing the math (home)work at school yesterday plus he has 1/2 hour of homework today. That adds up to an hour extra schoolwork yesterday and today. As far as Im concerned they are trying to get around my 1/2 hour worth of homework policy by keeping him after school. What do you think? Advice and comments welcome!
(Please excuse me, this is my first day of blogging on this blog, I promise not to post 3 blogs everyday :)

The IEP meeting that I dreaded

2009-12-02T10:39:00.000-08:00

My oldest child, I will call him child#1, just started middle school this year which starts at grade six. He is eleven years old and has a diagnosis of autism and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder).

Before our upcoming IEP meeting, I got this note from my child’s SEA, after I informed her that my son hadn't completed his homework during our busy weekend (the underlining is the SEA's):

I got your note and informed the teacher. However, I have to remind you that the "videogame time" in the morning heavily interferes with child#1’s school work. His mind is so greatly under the influence of the game that he can’t/won’t try to focus on Math. I've already mentioned this to you. I only reiterate what I've said.

Game time needs to be replaced with something else such as quiet time in bed or whatever is not going to set up child#1’s mind in the morning.
Otherwise, his school accomplishments are going to further suffer. If you need help let me know. I know lots of good replacement activities.

I was so mad. She should know that, having autism, child#1 perserverates on interests -- which is another way of saying he obsesses about his video games. Cutting them out in the morning is not going to stop child#1 from wanting to talk about them. Also, I think she was very rude and has no right to tell me what to do in my own house, Suggestions, fine; orders I don't do well with.

After venting about it, I wrote her a note that said, “I suggest you let him talk about his video games to get it out of his system and then child#1 will be more focused on his work.” No response on that note. Hmmmm...

I talked to the support worker (who is supposed to co-ordinate everyone) because child #1 was getting one-and-one-half hours of homework every night. I found her to be inflexible, and she actually told me that the homework is only going to increase. My son is so frustrated by the end of the school day that he is only capable of doing a half-hour of homework. She wasn't getting that.

Needless to say I was very nervous and feeling stressed about the upcoming IEP meeting. As far as I could tell from questioning child #1, they were not following his IEP at all. ARGG....

There were a lot of topics to discuss. I got information about what his elementary school was doing with child#1 last year, from his former SEA ( who is so good we kept her as a behavior interventionist) I researched perservative interests and had that printed out. I made a list of the topics I needed to bring up, and notes for my eyes only lol. Then I wrote a point form agenda and handed this and the information on perservative interests out to the teachers, SEA, councillor, support worker, and principal (whom I had asked to be at the meeting).

Now you may think I had it all together, but I was so stressed I hardly slept the night before.

The day of the meeting arrived, and I was still a bit stressed but feeling more prepared. I went to the meeting and everyone introduced themselves for the sake of my husband (child#1's stepdad, my support at the meeting.). Then I handed out my sheets and asked if I they minded if I started the meeting. The general answer was “No, of course not.”

I wasn't ganged up on like I feared. We talked about all my agenda topics and either compromised or they saw my point. The only thing they don't want to do is give rewards because it’s middle school, and it makes child#1 stand out. Well, I am going to keep tabs on that, and also I am thinking of just rewarding child#1 myself at the end of the day if he has a good day with no homework.

I also discussed my son not focusing on math and told them he is simply not a morning person The former school had this problem last year. Also, child#1 sometimes wakes up early in the morning or at night and starts playing on his games. He doesn’t always realize what time it is.

We talked about homework, and I made it clear that I really don't mind doing some homework with him. Child#1 is just too frustrated and stressed at the end of the day to do that much homework. We also talked about giving him fewer questions, which they were not doing in math. It would help him finish his work in class time so he wouldn’t have any homework, eliminating some of his frustration. Like a lot of our kids he is very bright and doesn’t need to do all the questions to get the concept. They are going to start adapting more, especially in math.

I didn’t single out the SEA, although it was tempting. I just said “I’m not sure if everyone knows about perseveration of interests.” Then I suggested that they give him certain times to discuss his video games, and they could even put it into his visual schedule. The SEA told me she already lets child #1 talk about his games at certain times. I told her I know it can be frustrating at times because it’s hard to get him off the topic.

I don't think the meeting would have gone as well as it did if I hadn't prepared and went armed to the meeting with information and an agenda. This was the first meeting I chaired, but I felt confident, and I was well received. :)

BTW, readers, go here and here to see the information I provided at the IEP regarding perseveration on interests and activities.

SEA's and other mosquitos

2009-12-02T10:18:00.000-08:00

My sons needs things explained to him then he needs time to process it. Apparently his SEA hasn't figured that out yet. She apparently talked his ear off two days ago causing child #1 to have a meltdown. Maybe I am being over critical but dont you think she would have figured that out at this point in the year? Kudos to the school though, they held a meeting the same day and told the SEA she needs to back off a bit. I talked to his math teacher and she said The SEA backed off completely the day after and I told her that we need to find a middle ground. Giving him help but not overwhelming him.
Argh, does it never end?