Merry Christmas and a happy new year! (and a bit of an update)

Well, next year has got to be better than this year.  I am having an easier time with the separation. I feel able to move on.  I cant get a divorce till June 23 next year because of the waiting a year rule but I will for sure do that. Maybe I will have one of those divorce parties lol.  Well, I'm not sure how I feel about Christmas this year.  Mixed feelings I guess.  This is the first year in 3 years I will not be with a partner. I guess I'm feeling lonely.  I know I am not in love with my ex anymore, that faded with all the crap he put us through.  We are going away this Christmas to the kids bio-dads parents who treat me like family so I am looking forward to that.   It should be a nice vacation and a much needed one.  I feel bad for my ex because he will be working for Christmas and most likely be alone but I can't do anything about that as I cant take responsibility for his happiness.  I care about him as a person but at the same time I can't give him false hope. Well, tomorrow I am leaving for vacation. I just wanted to stop by and update and wish all of you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

I better blog before people think I fell off the earth!

Everything has been pretty good around here. I feel mean but I am not having too hard of a time with this whole separation. At first it was hard when he lived here but we were separated for about a week and a half but when he left the stress went way down. Maybe it is because I knew it was coming and it was my choice to leave? Basically my (ex) husband is not good with my autistic kids and is not willing to learn. He thinks when I tell him why they do things it is just an excuse. My happy go lucky son Billy bob was turning into an angry frustrated guy because of the ex. That was the first thing that got me really thinking. There was no physical abuse but there were other issues that I don't feel comfortable sharing. We have separated 2 other times before the last time. The last time was just the last straw. We went to marriage counseling and parenting groups and nothing got better. I figure you cant kick a dead horse. I thought about it for at least a month or more before I broke it off. This is not a decision I took lightly so please don't tell me to keep trying or it will get better. I know it will get better without him not with him.
I don't know when the rest of the world starts school but it seems like all my bloggy friends from different places have their kids already is school. My kids don't go to school till September 7. When do your kids end the school year? My kids end at the end of June.

Moving...

To the suite below us, smaller suite. Can't afford this one with lower income. Moving is a pain. Sorry, haven't found the words for more than a short update yet.

Changes

Broken marriage and moving. Sorry for being gone so long. Will blog more about that when I am up to it. Thanks

Big plans this weekend!

Today chiropractor for all of this. Tomorrow, behavior interventionist is taking the boys(and I'm coming along because its the first outing) for therapeutic horseback riding After their horseback riding the bi will drop me off and the boys will do something with their new bi. Saturday is my hubbies big 50!!!! I'm only 36 for the record lol. My hubby and I will go out for his free birthday lunch then big family dinner in the evening with his mom and my parents and bros and a couple friends. Then Sunday hopefully we will get to relax. I'll let you know how it goes!
What are you planning for the weekend?

Another day...

Another fight! The door is starting to look pretty good lately.

Previous Post!

Whoever may have read my previous deleted post, the moment has passed, all is well. Hope you all had a great mothers day or for those mothers that mothers day is difficult I hope you survived it and got spoiled by someone who loves you.

Come out Come out wherever you are!

This is just a test. If you are lurking or even if you usually comment please leave me a comment even if it is just hi, I am just curious how many people have found me since I started this blog.

The boys have been sick home from school most of this week so far. Really bad colds, bit of a sore throat. Oh, we got some free tickets to the hockey game last weekend. We all loved it. I am not a big fan of hockey on TV but hockey is so much more exciting live. Where else can you scream and yell and cheer on your favorite team without being told to be quiet? lol Our team lost by 1 though. We also saw how to train your dragon in 3d. It was a really good movie. Who knew a dragon could be cute? lol

What are you doing at 1:50 am???

Do NOT read if you have a weak stomach!
I am helping my son clean up his room and belongings that he just got sick all over. He can not wait till tommorrow to clean his books etc. Omgosh, I think I am going to be sick! My kids are 10 and 11 and I still don't cope well with barf.

Hoppy Easter Everyone!

My mom in law has given us some money for easter. The kids got x amount. Billybob bought harry potter and the half blood prince for wii with that money and some money he had saved up. John-boy was at a birthday all day and didnt spend his yet. Me and hubby got $50 each. I spend a little bit on the kids, a bit on a dog ornament and now I still have $30 left. What would you do with $30 if you could only spend it on yourself? I am not very good at treating myself. I would like to spend some on wooden pony beads if I can only find a place to buy them. Everyone seems to sell the plastic beads. Any Ideas? What do you do to treat yourself?

Spring vacation!

Its spring vacation and both boys are at their grandparents (biological dads parents). Yay! I am so lucky that they are still so good to me and my boys. My mom is in the hospital to have an operation to take some of the lump out to get a sample to do more tests on. The lump is so small they could barely get a sample and so it is probably benign but the Dr wont give a 100% sure answer till after the test. I had this in my drafts so Im going to add that the lump is benign, we got the test results. Still good news, cancer doesn't shrink!!! Unfortunately mom still has no appetite and is still sick so we are onto the what could it be now phase. New update, its "just" pancreatitis. Better than cancer.
On a good note: I went out for dinner with hubby friday, no babysitter needed! Chinese food buffet only $10/person. It is usually next to impossible to get a babysitter as those with kids with special needs already know but my mom was my babysitter.

Can I Pick Your Brain?

John boy is giving the math teacher what for in his first morning class. He makes a fuss and yells and wont do his work and gets sent out of class with his SEA(I'm assuming). He has to make up the work at lunch or after school. I'm wondering if the delayed punishment is actually rewarding because he gets to leave class when he acts up. Its not an immediate consequence. The math teacher says He is trying to teach him to deal with his emotions. That they wont put up with that in high school even though that is still 2 1/2 years away. Also he does have autism so isn't it the schools job to find a way to deal with him??? He also has talked to John boy and he apologized and understands what he did wrong and doesn't like staying after school. I don't think that proves its working because he keeps doing it and I think he knows what is expected of him so he just talks the talk. The teacher think he doesn't do well in the morning which is probably true. I wonder if maybe he needs a free block in the morning next school year if possible. The teacher says he doesn't preform well when he is hungry. He doesn't eat a lot in the morning. He is not a breakfast guy. I am going to try to send him with something to munch on when he is going to school. I also try to send him early for the breakfast club but If you tantrums a lot in the morning it doesn't happen.

Therapeutic horseback riding and riding Show!

Last weekend was busy but mostly a good busy. The boys had therapeutic horseback riding on saturday morning. Then the Behavior interventionist took them out while we went to a celebration of life for my hubbies good friend. Then the horseback riding show on sunday afternoon!!! There was 5 kids in their competing group. My kids have been riding less than a year. Billy bob won 2nd place ribbon. He was a little disapointed until he was told that the girl who won first place had been there at least 2 year. John boy won 3rd place. I am so proud of them both. They practiced so hard and tried their best and that is what counts! I put their ribbins and their score sheets up on the wall and took lots of pics of the horse show.
Sorry for all the negativity lately. I will try to be more positive.

This year just keeps getting better!!!

My aunt has been fighting colon cancer, we don't know yet if she is going to beat it.
My other aunt had a minor heart attack.
Update on my mom. She went for a biopsy in her lump the last test and they didn't find anything. Good news right? Well, they are still trying to find out what's wrong so Now its biopsy #2 which is a bone marrow biopsy and another week of waiting. My mom tells me not to worry but how can I not worry?

We were expecting this one but its still upsetting...One of my hubbies best friends passed away from cancer yesterday. I didn't know his friend well but its hard watching hubby be upset. I am being supportive of hubby of coarse but I don't like to see him hurt if you know what I mean.

This year has to get better, right??? Please pray for our family.

Positive post!

John Boy asked me yesterday if he could stay after school and play today. I didn't think anything of it till this morning when John boy was already late for school and rifling through his piggy bank. I said what are you doing, you are already late for school. He said I confess, I was going to go to the (corner) store and get you a (birthday) present after school today. I had to tell him then your going to have to get your money after school then go since most of his money is in small change. I was soooo....touched though. And they say autistic kids aren't loving???Pshaw! My birthday is on Friday but he gave me an early present of a mars bar, my favorite chocolate bar. There is nothing better especially when I am craving chocolate. Tomorrow John boy said he is giving me more presents. He is so full of empathy and I am so proud of him. This is the first time John boy has tried to surprise me.

Billy Bob has I-day tomorrow. On I-day you have to go if you have assignments that you didn't do that term. He doesn't have to go because he did all his assignments despite having difficulties with reading and writing. I am so... proud of him. Also last year Billy Bob was about 2 years behind in reading. Now he is only 1 year behind. He is at his grade level in everything else and he can understand things if you tell him verbally and he is writing a lot better. I still scribe his homework though, it makes it easier for both of us. Billy Bob has come so far and sometimes its good to look back and reflect on it.

Host family needed for Haitian Child

Please see this link for the whole story. This child needs a family to temporarily care for them while they get medical attention.

http://watchingthewaters.wordpress.com/2010/02/15/host-family-needed-west-virginia/

Rough month!

We have been going through a rough spot in our marriage lately. We are going to go for councilling,stepparent coarse for hubby and some parenting (for special needs) coarses. Parenting coarses mostly for hubby but Im sure I will learn something.
The Olympic torch came through our town so we got up early and watched someone run it through town. The kids loved it, I took a short video and some pics of us in front of a Canadian flag in a window.
Life was pretty good for about a week then...BOOM! Mom got the "flu" on Friday. In the hospital Saturday. They thought she had gall stones and infected pancreas. Well, they took a ct scan and now they said nope, that is not it but we don't know what it is. More tests are coming. They have some "ideas" but they are too scary to contemplate never mind put in writing. My mom is in so much pain she is in the hospital on morphine and she is a tough lady. She wouldn't take it unless she had to. I have never seen her so sick but still I visited her yesterday and today because I love my mom. We had a family prayer for her tonight. I am not particularly religious but I do believe in god. My oldest son laughed during prayer. We don't regularly pray in our house and I think as the other autie moms will probably agree, Our kids sometimes react inappropriately when they don't know how to react, right? Now me and my hubby are arguing because he thinks my son was just being disrespectful! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....I have tried explaining to him why he laughed but...Oh well, we will make up soon I am sure. Please if you believe in a god or a higher power pray for the Dr's to find out what is wrong and for my mom to get well soon. Thanks!

Christmas Break with a side of nagging!

My monster in law was over. She is a neat freak and I am not! Nag, nag, nag. She was so bossy and drove me and hubby nuts. Also she does things for you and then makes you feel guilty after its like if you are going to do something for me, don't do it if it comes with a guilt trip. We spent 3 days cleaning the house before she arrived but it was not good enough for the lady that came out of the womb with a broom and a mop in her hand. Omgosh, she said she is not coming back again even though by our standards our house was immaculate when she was here Wish she could come for a good visit but nothing is good enough for her. She gave us money for Christmas though and I got a dirt devil and clothes so that was good. MIL and her kitchen assistant(me) also made a yummy Christmas dinner for us and my parents and 2 bros which I did appreciate and she also made a whole bunch of goodies and brought them down with her. YUM! So I guess it wasn't all bad.. We were going to have a get together for new years but I guess didn't give enough notice so went to my parents instead and monster in law was gone by then. We did talk though and didn't leave it on a bad note. She invited us for lunch after she left since she went to stay with another family friend and then we took her dog to the dog park where my boys chased the dogs and had an absolute blast. Who knew dog parks could be that much fun for kids. lol Then we went to the park then home.

Where did I go???

Well, If you read my last blog you know that I was diagnosed with tendinitis. I was resting my wrist for a while then last week was the week from HELL! Maybe it was puberty starting, I don't know. (Billy bob is starting to get zits so...) Billy bob was just tantruming over everything. Everything I told him to do even the simplest task it was on the floor with no, I cant or no, I don't wanna do that. He usually only has those tantrums in the morning cuz he doesn't want to go to school. He also had a very rough week at school. It took a long time to get him on task,he was tantruming quite a bit and he didn't do work for half the day sometimes. This is not like him, usually he has a rough start then the rest of the day is alright. Of coarse friday was a pro-D day. I really dont like pro-d days. They just make a longer weekend and the boys fight because they around each other 24/7 and hubby gets stressed out with the boys. By Friday I was at the Dr's telling him about it and got his meds increased. That is what he needed the last time he started acting out like that. It must have kicked in pretty good because he didn't even have tantrums in the morning on mon-wed. Minor tantrums thurs and fri morning though. Oh, well, cant have a perfect week lol. Oh,btw I just wait out his tantrums and when he is done he is told ok, now go down to the storage room and get the can of mushroom soup, I dont let him off the hook just because he throws a big tantrum.
Also I have taken up crafts again which I am really loving. I am making medicine bags and I burned a wolf in the aboriginal(I hope that is the politically correct word lol) style onto a peice of leather which I think I will make into a dreamcatcher. I am not aboriginal but I have always been facinated with their arts and crafts and culture. My kids are finally old enough that they are not running away with my supplies and constantly bugging. Even if the kids are around I can sit on the couch with them and sew and It still feels like me time!

Tendinitis and lurking!

I found out on Wednesday that I have Tendinitis so i will be mostly lurking till I can write my Christmas and new years blog with both hands on the keys again. I am wearing a partial wrist cast on my right wrist and guess which one is my writing hand? So hope you had a Merry Christmas /happy holidays and a happy new year to you. Well its back to lurking for me :(